galli puraan - 1

"Kandi",with a small wooden sword in his hand, was jumping from top of the tree to balcony of our house, from there to the
garden in the front and again from there back to the top of the tree - behaving like a mad baboon.

Ye dekh ke mera to bheja fir gaya . We call kandi "Nutloose Maharaj". Nutloose means, all the nuts and bolts of the head falling
loose, and in such a way that no screwdriver, player in the vast world can repair. In a way I am also nutloose. But of all in
"the gang", the best nutloose is our "Sat". If we do good work in our country we get Padmashree, if we do better work
we get, Padmabhusan, and if our work is best - out of this world, we get Bharat Ratna.

Padma bole to kamal. Hamari galli ke piche, there is a biiiig pond full of lotuses. Pond ko lagke, there exists the farm of our
"Pandeyji". Pandeyji owns a group of buffaloes. Kya bhainsa hai baap. Like the spectators grouped together to watch galli
cricket, these buffaloes will group together in muddy pond taking sunbath the whole day. Hasinao ki maafik. There are around
10 - 12 buffaloes. But saari ki saari bina kaam ki. All of them together gives around half a litre of milk a day. Ya but what attitude
and personality these buffalos are having baap. tooooo much. Every dusk they will cause a traffic jaam taking there evening walk.
We have a gentleman called "Mishra ji" in our galli. He will neither work inside the house nor outside it. Earlier he used to buy lots of
newspaper. From morning till dawn he will read and reread these papers and will keep itching his head, whispering and talking
to himself.

Mishraji - "Don't know what will happen to this country. Saala sab taraf darkness hi darkness. Gandhiji to "swatantrata" de ke
nikal liye. Nehru also went off giving "panchsheel". Main akela aadmi. What can i do? Country is looking cursed. No peace, no
happiness, no rest. Aaaaargh. Leaders corrupt, officers corrupt, police corrupt. There were only 40 thieves at the time of ali
baba. Ab to saala apni galli me ich chalis chora rete. Don't know whats going to happen to this country. Its going to get ruined."

Speaking in the above fashion he was walking slowly. Along with him was our "pappu paper" (he is our newspaper vendor).

Pappu paper (looking worried) - "Saab, don't know whether our country is going to be ruined or not, but if you will not pay the bills
of my newspapers, i am surely going to get ruined. Saab please, pay the bills. "

Mishraji (stopped, looked besides, took the topi above the head, itched quietly, kept his hand on the shoulders of pappu) - "Arre
yaara, you don't worry bout the bill. Apan jindagi me kya leke aaye, and what are we going to take back ? sab maaya hai dost,
sab maaya hai.. are you getting me pappu??"

Pappu understood and ran away... Mishraji nahi sudhare, but then same goes with our country, leaders.. wo bhi to nahi sudhare...
One day mishraji caught niksi.. means me..

Mishraji - "Wat re nik, full day no work, just roaming here and there like pandey ji's buffaloes.. do some work beta... be something.." he
started his age old lecture...

I tried my best to run away.. but his grip was too strong this time... My mind went Nutloose... I started back.. "leave me, just leave me"
I do not keep reading newspapers like you.. I have to go for work.. but he came with a firm decision today..
"What re.. what will happen if I will keep giving lectures.. I have to practice myself what I am saying.. or else everything is
equivalent to crap.. if there aren't any bullets in the gun.. than khali dhai dhai karne se kya hota.. will anyone die from that.. "

Oooo my god.. i was half dead by this time.. somehow i snatched myself away from his grip.. and saala galli tak bina ruke bhaaga...
nonstop running.. I used to run with barking dogs behind me when was a kid.. wo same practice abhi kaam aata kabhi kabhi..

"The gang" was discussing something in galli...
First one said "I always wanted to be a bus driver.. mast ghumte rehna.. upar se logo ko pareshaan karna... kriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiich.. like that
you suddenly push the brake.. piche ki seat wala like an arrow.. kaisa sataaak ke saamne conductor ke paas aata... superb career.."

Other said "No no, there is fear of road accidents in that career.. we have to die getting stucked between seat and steering wheel.. I like
becoming a conductor.. ticket ticket bolke ghumte rena.. change nako bolke ticket ke piche likh ke dena... That person departs
in hurry and paise apan ke... ho ho.. wo paise daan kar dena.. lots of good work man.. "

third said "I will become a leader, cutting ribbons somewhere, giving speeches.. no worries about eating... once if you win.. no
problems for the next five years.. "
While the discussion was going.. kandi kept jumping from tree to tin box, tin box to bushes and then back to the tree with his
wooden sword..
My aunt started shouting from inside "Arre, what happened to this kandi.. today morning in the temple, the monkeys snatched
prasad from his hand.. since then he is behaving like this.. kahi bandara kaat ke paagal to nahi bana diye bechare ku.. I think he
will have to be given fourteen biiiig injections.. "

Kandi stopped and shouted back.. "Arre O, waste fella.. i am not mad.. this is "Gorilla Warfare".. you will not understand..
before 378 years shivaji maharaj used to tease aurangjeb like this only.. by the time he blinked his eyes sab ke sab idhar udhar
jaane kidhar gaayab ho jaate.. if we want to do something for society, country.. we should build our health re.. we must
practice things like this, if we learn such "movements" to fatafat "escape" ho sakte.. "

At the very instant.. mishraji called from back --- "Arre.. you people are here?? ", Me, kandi and rest of the gang.. escaped just
like shivaji in a moment using "Gorilla warfare" "movements".. He caught my aunt and started his lectures...

Sajjan se Sajjan mile to prem se kije baat,
gaddhe se gaddha mile to ghusa ya fir laat..

Next morning my aunt was sitting with her hand on her head... "Kya re tumloga.. aise kaise bhaag gaye mereku chod ke.., you
people must teach me this gorilla, chimpanjee, monkey, baboon, watever warfare.. i also need it... "

We all need to learn gorilla warfare, some or the other time.. Kya bolte Saab...

Why me ??

"Why me ?? ", niksi asks god in the night...
"Why me?? ", God repeated with a smile. "The question asked by the soldier as the enemy bullets whistle around him, by the harmless homeowner as the homicidal maniac steps through the kitchen door hunting knife in hand, by the woman who has given birth to a dead baby, by the prophet who has just had a revelation of the word of god, by the artist who knows his latest painting is a work of genius. Why you ? Because you are there, dumbo. Because something has to happen to you. OK ?

niksi says OK and slips into sleep...

cricket part 2

so.. all the three of us were running and got out of the sight of ticket checker..
next problem was, we were hungry... and it was still half an hour to the show.....

pavan : lets eat raa !!
niksi : lets go back there!! ( pavan and niksi were in a canteen an hour before)
pavan : gundu gadu.. its far away...
niksi : kya far away.. yahan se patthar fekte to us canteen pe girta.... ooooops.. i mean if we throw a stone from here it will drop on that canteen... (no hindi with pavan )
saidullu maama : no.. no ra.. lets eat panipoori...
niksi, pavan : okie

and frnds.. only if we call it pani poori... pathetic.. i ate one and was like.. am over..
we bought a mango.. infact three ripe mangoes... and pushed it into muh bag.. and ran back as the line inside the stadium was growing fast...

stood in the line.. but again thought... ufffffffffffffffffff... because.. they were searching guys like anything.. and all guthkas, cigarettes and stuff like dat went out in a crapbox...

we were seeing each others faces... there will lie the deadbody of our dear mango after a while... but geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.... god was wid us.. seeing our poor faces... the good security uncle allowed the mango inside the stadium...

and wat a show it was... such a biiiiig crowd... gals dancing... flags of india and pakistan, loud music.... we also took flags and banners of 4's and 6's.. we divided the teams among us... they both chose kolkata tigers and i took lahore baadshahs...

but after sometime (after we finished the mangoes, and stopped seeing the dancing dolls ) all was boring.... i mean it was too loud for me... i particularly didn't like it because

1) it was all artificial
-> people with biiiiiiig flags of the two countries were not patriotic or fans... they were labourers paid by the organisers of the show... (so bad), same story with shouting drummers...
-> i could see wolves everywhere around me... hungry for gals.. the way they where passing rubbish comments and all that shit.....
-> i saw a small gal selling chikki (peanut sweet) inside the stadium so that she can earn enough for her family... (india is still poor, such small sweet gal is supposed to work)
2) i do not like crowds...
3) we were not able to enjoy the cricket.. i mean the players where so small from the place where we sat.. all looked same.. ball was hardly visible... no score board... and above all no replays.... kaun kaise out hua saala pata hi nahi chala.... and ya above all ground was looking all empty.. i mean it looks awesomely full of players on tv.. here it was nothing like that...

so somehow dragged ourselves till half of the match.. in between some small adventures.. like saidullu's search for toilets... pavan's search for a better place from which we can see * cricket * gals * scoreboard * television screen..... but having everything is not possible.. he came back to the original place after having a good round of the stadium....

after first innings we lost our patience to carry on... saidullu was still interested (saale me jaan baaki tha).... he decided to sit back.. pavan and myself decided the other way round.. went out.. caught the buses to our respective homes.. and slept over a tired day.....

conclusion was CRICKET IS FAR BETTER ON TELEVISION DEN IN A STADIUM FOR US...

cricket part 1

one cool evening in idrbt i was sitting doing nothing and brain (!) storming about wat i will do after going home.... my options were

1) sit in the library waiting for.. he he (but my luck here is not so good.. kabhi kabhar chal jaata)

2) play sparkle.... (not good.. pura din wahi to kiya.. fir se kya khelna)

3) read a book... (not having any good book on hand right now worth reading)

4) see tv (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak)

5) go to gym.. (ye ye.. ya this is a good option, i will rethink)

6).........

the door opens, bhadang....... and the knight enters.. i was seeing something fishy.. so got shocked.. turned around and there was pavan.. the greaaaaaaaaaat pavan.. only guy regularly sending emails........ (mginger, cut your mobile bill by 200, pass it on and save the girl, forward to 10 people in 1 minute to get good luck for 7 consecutive years (toooooooo much.. how is it possible maaaan!!!))

anyways... he is sincere in sending mails, so i like him....

ya so thing is, pavan was in my room.. its rare.. why?? because he generally comes with a new game or when we are having a meeting kind of thing.... rest of the time he is in his chair playing his game....

so i was like why he is here....

pavan : nik

niksi: ya

pavan : cricket chuddama ra!!

niksi:....................

pavan : oops, i mean is you interested in coming for watching cricket...

niksi : where ???

pavan : lb stadium raa, icl 20 20 tournament...

niksi : how?

pavan : i have pass (free)

niksi : how ??

pavan : bharatstudent.com

niksi : but, one pass, one ticket, saidullu told me.... u have ur ticket.. how can i come...

pavan : you just come re.. i have both... i promise today i will show you match (baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, i am touched )

niksi : ok, chalo...

pavan : ya came..

den we went out, sat in hmmmmmmmmmmmmm 5k i think... i was on phone.. so i told him to take purse from my pocket and buy the ticket... and here starts the murphy law.. (i hate him, kitta time waste karta hai sab ka)... by the way for those who are unaware of murphy bhai.. here are three great versions of his law...

1) when there are 50 50 chances of something going right or wrong, there is 90 % probability that it will fall wrong

2) when you are searching for a particular thing from a stack of similar such things, the thing you are searching will be the last one...

3) tomorrow is always worse than today...

so here goes pavan applying law number two..

he inserts his hand on my back right pocket.. nothing.. back left pocket... nothing.... front right pocket nothing..

pavan : nik

niksi : on phone.. raised eyebrows.. kya hai bey...

pavan : where is money ?

conductor : (shouting) ticket cheppu !!

pavan :niiiiiiiiiikkkk

conductor:tickeeeeeeeeeeet....

niksi : abids

pavan : money

niksi : bag me hai re... ya ya (on phone)

pavan : where...

niksi : angry a bit.. takes the complex problem in his own worthy hands... takes the purse out of the bag.. gives money to conductor with grin aaaaarggggggggh.. pushes ticket back in bag.. gives a nasty glance to pavan.. and goes back to phone...

we get down at abids... searching for LB stadium... and someone by the name Saidullu.... we found none for other 15 minutes... than EUREKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa.. there is the biiiiiiiiig stadium.. with the happiness felt by columbus in finding india (which was actually america, poor dude)... we entered the stadium gate... and there was the ticket counter....

pavan took out the print outs we were supposed to show before having our free ticket.... i took a look and here goes my head off...

niksi : kya hai ye

pavan :printouts ra...

niksi : aaaaaaaaaaaaargh

to cut the long story sort... he was having only one pass.. the other one was just a silly advertisement..... baaah.. now only one of us can go in... i already started looking for options, how to reach home from that place....

pavan recalled all the BIIG words he told me before coming.. and he went emotionally down...

nik... you go ra.... i will see it some other day.. i told you i will show you match.. so you go in.. i will go...

i was like.. kya hai ye.. why he is so sentimental.... i do not like crowd anyway... just came as he asked with love in his eyes... i did not wanted to break his poor heart.. (he he...)

nahi pavan.. you go beta.. i will go home.. you see and search saidullu... i will see you people on tv....

and while we were forcing each other giving QURBANI... saidullu came running...

saidullu : (shouting as if we are missing titanic ).... tondargaa ra.. ticket tisco ra.. quick ra... pavan quickly ran with a ORIGINAL PRINTOUT AND ONE FAKE PRINTOUT....

god save him (i said).. abhi security usko bahar fekti... i was already in the olympic pose of running as soon as he was caught....

but it was pavan kada... with that biiiiiiiiig eyes, innocent face, biiiiiiiiiiig smile... ticket guy got fooled sooner den i thought.. seeing pavan, he forgot to check the printouts.. just counted two.. and gave two passes... and next moment we three were running out in the crowd so as to stop any possibility of him catching us for forgery..... (in case he has a better look on printouts)........

!!!!

And finally i asked "why?"

"Ah why. you want the whole story?

All right, i'll tell you." he settled back.

"No big deal here. I was in love and now i am not.

She doesn't pay attention and i don't know where she is and, "His voice rose slightly, "I don't care where she is. She walked out of life one night and now am trying to put myself through college so i will be self sufficient before i take the next step. That's all about it i guess."

I thought that the most heart breaking parts were the things he hadn't said...... 

FEEL FEEL FEEL

GOD MADE ME LEARN THIS:

FEEL; FEEL; FEEL FOR SOMEONE; FEEL TILL YOUR HEART STOPS AND THE BRAIN REELS AND YOU THINK YOU WILL GO MAD. THEN POUR THE SOUL OUT AT THE FEET OF THAT PERSON AND THEN WILL COME POWER, GREAT STRENGTH, IMMENSE COURAGE, INFINITE LOVE AND INDOMITABLE ENERGY.

the only reality in my life and conciousness was her. all my mental powers were now turned to keep her within my reach, and keep her smiling all the time, neither of which was at all easy. i would willingly have kept at her side all the time, as a sort of parasite; but in that it was not easy. i was always racked with the thought that the boys were keeping an eye on me and were commenting behind my back. i did not want to be observed. i was becoming self concious about it. i very much wished that the architecture of the place oculd be altered so that i might go up without having anyone watch me. i didn’t liked the way they looked at me whenever i passed. i knew that an inward joke on my expense was amusing them. i think i could have ignored them but i was unable as they were my early associates.    but its all over now.   i am the biggest fool……

aaj holi rene ka.. bole to happy holi to everyone.. subah as usual utha.. had muh tinkle (ya am reading one tinkle every morning since last so many days) i feel refreshing.. abhi kya karna aisa sochna.. chutti nahi tha re.. mujhe yaad aaya sir bol ke gaye the.. 

niksi : hello, good afternoon sir.

sir : ya, good afternoon.

niksi : ..........

sir : .........

sir : hello

niksi : yes sir

sir : hmm, tell me...

niksi : wat sir... (and der goes muh heart p0unding as always, saala fir darr gaya )

sir : see, today eve i am going to rameshwar.. day after tomorrow is a holiday.. 

niksi : yes sir

sir : so...

niksi : so... 

sir : wat are you going to do..

niksi : (oh my god) mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

sir : .........

niksi : ya.. i will format those papers... but i want you to send me a copy each of the papers and reviews..

sir : why.. i gave you na..

niksi : yes sir, but drive is not working.. and i will have to search for the hard copies.. (baaaah, yaad aa gaya ye time pe.. varna mmmm mmm karke ich khatm sab)

sir : ok den search... tomorrow and saturday you do that thing.. see you on monday..

niksi : happy journey sir..

sir : ok bi..

den same night 3 o clock niksi gets a message (heavenly send.. love you o angel ).. that tomorrow is declared as a holiday for the institute.. he he... ye ye.. our institute is secular (pseudo i mean)... fatafat messaged "tringtring" (who is tringtring... i will introduce someday).. ye ye chutti.....

jitni jor se uchla tha ye football chutti sun ke.. utni hi jor se baith gaya fir.. next day kya boring tha.. was mast enjoying muh loneliness.. and phone aaya..

niksi (again) i hate talking on phone : hello

cousin : hello

niksi : kem cho

cousin : maja ma.. what is happening in hcu yaar.. i am reading all this in paper

niksi : ya.. dats because paapam.. a phd guy did suicide.. so people are fighting for him.. karke.. nothing much

cousin : ok ok

cousin : why you not going office

niksi : nahi hai (ye ye, the spirits where still right there).. aaj holiday... id kar ke..

cousin : ok darling so go to begumpet and pick up your dear aunt.. she will be der in half an hour

niksi : abba right now.. i am still half asleep... tooooooooo much (ofcourse ye sab mann me bola)... ok fine bhaiyya (aaaaaargggggggghhhhhh) i will do it.. tell me the details..

cousin : no details.. take the number, call them and take details..

niksi : (sad now a bit) ok...

cousin gives the number and hangs off...

nahana, khana, details lena kar ke i went off to begumpet station... line me masth khade rehna.. main badi line me khada raha (for the simple reason that kiosk at the end of the line was a beautiful female.. he he.. ).. 

after 20 min my number comes.. ekdum raapchik confidence me bhai bola.. gimme a platform ticket please.. kya smile tha baap... mera i mean.. 

she gave me the ticket... ajanta express kaun se number pe aata (question by niksi to her)

she : kya ajanta express.. yahan pe nahi aata.. secundrabad is the last station.. it never comes here..

ooooooooooooooooooooooo my goooooooooooooooooooooood.. cousin ki to main.... 

anyways.. thank you "behanji"... 

kya chopsi hua baap.. came out.. platform ticket ko cousin bana ke made a thousand pieces.. i am feeling so so so good... again called maasi.. told her to wait at secundrabad station.. her saviour sir nikunj will be der in an hour... (khaya bhi nahi tha kuch main pata hai)...

and the day just started... (yaar, i want boring day.. and roj kuch na kuch hota...)....................

My roots : i am confused. 

Why? 

Is the answer i am still searching for.

Do i really need you?

or is it the search for the unknown.

i want to speak out,

but to someone who could make a difference.

can i see you somewhere?

than why is it that i see you everywhere.

the feeling of being with you is still alive in me.

i'm almost a martyr of love.

i don't see a future that belongs to us together.

but i still dream of one.

people say they come and go.

so did you.

but they never told me that you would go forever.

then why did you?

i belong to where we began because i found you there.

but you ran away from all that was us.

i thought to solve the mystery.

but how can i solve,

because you met me when we began.

you are my roots and roots are not to be shared.

they are to be preserved.

to be taken care of all through the life.

because roots are not to be explored.

because they define you as you did me......

i can feel it.. kya pata..

Crawling in my skinThese wounds they will not healFear is how I fall Confusing what is real There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surfaceComsuming, confusing This lack of self-control I fear is never-endingControlling, I can't seem...To find myself again My walls are closing inI've felt this way beforeSo insecure...Crawling in my skin These wounds they will not healFear is how I fallConfusing what is real Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me Distructing, reacting Against my will I stand beside my own reflectionIt's haunting, how I can't seem...To find myself againMy walls are closing inI've felt this way beforeSo insecure...Crawling in my skin These wounds they will not healFear is how I fallConfusing what is realThere's something inside me that pulls beneath the surfaceComsuming...This lack of self-control I fear is never-endingControlling...Confusing what is real ....

Am thinking i should post..... ok guys.. see ya again..