I will move on !!

When you are lost in the wild,
and you are as a child,
and death looks you bang in the eye,
and you are sore as a boil,
it is according to hoyle,
to cock your revolver and die.
But code of a MAN says - to fight all you can.
And self dissolution is barred.
In hunger and woe, oh, its damn easy to blow,
Its the hell served for breakfast that's hard.
you are the dick of the game,
"Well, now, that's a shame"
you are young, brave and bright.
you had a raw deal, you know but you should not squeal.
Buck up, do your damndest fight.
It is the plugging away that will win you the day,
So don't be a piker,
Just draw on your grit, it's so easy to quit,
It's keeping your chin up that's hard,
It's easy to cry that you are beaten - and die.
It's easy to be crawfish and crawl,
But to fight and to fight when hopes out of light,
why, that's the best game of them all.
And though you come out of each gruelling bout,
all broken and beaten and scarred.
Just have one more try - it's dead easy to die,
its the keeping on living thats hard..

Eating apple only because its beautifully red is ridiculous... Selection is the key !!

I felt as though I was split in two, so keen was my desire to follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the girl whose spirit had truly companioned me and upheld my own. And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible; her brown eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. I did not hesitate. My fingers gripped the small worn copy of the book that was to identify me to her. This would not be love, but it would be something precious, something perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which I had been and must ever be grateful. I squared my shoulders and held out the book to the woman, even though while I spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment.

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

the great fall of niksi...

04-04-08

6.30 AM (bed) :

good moroooning niksi...

morning is always good ra... ye ye.. daddy coming today, daddy coming today...

i will run away early from the office today... ye ye

(plan A - early runaway from office to home dad.. ye ye ye)

9.10 AM (idrbt) :

************** orkut :)

orkut fortune : There is a "pleasant" surprise in store for you...

daddy would had brought something for me.. kya surprise.. that too "pleasant".. he he

************** orkut, sparkle :) :)

karthik : hi ra, chal sir se mil ke aate hai...

niksi : nopes, baith na re.. he will be going to temple.. ham aaram se jaate hai...

************** orkut, sparkle, songs :) :) :)

arun : arey, ye shaurya, is a good movie.. chale kya..

niksi : shaurya, jaaved jaafri lead, good movie.. ha ha ha

karthik : arre chal sir se mil ke aate hai..

niksi : wait, i have to format this paper

************** orkut, sparkle, songs, chatting :) :) :) :) (tilt, tilt !!!)

karthik : niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikkkk

niksi : yup

karthik : chal na bey...

niksi : ok, chal.. ho gaya format

************** orkut, sparkle, songs, chatting :) :) :) :) (tilt, tilt !!!)

************** orkut, sparkle, songs :) :) :) :(

************** orkut, sparkle :) :) :( :(

************** orkut :) :( :( :(

********************* :( :( :( :( (mummmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy !!!)

10.30 AM (sir's office) :

niksi, karthik : good morning sir

sir (talking on phone, waving to seat) : kuchcho kuchcho

(some talk on something between karthik and sir, niksi was dumbly trying to understand their conversation)

karthik : ok sir, give me turkish, uk, spanish datasets

niksi (mann me bhidu) : ye ye, datasets, datasets, familiar word, familiar word, ye ye

(niksi prepares to dive into the conversation)

niksi (whispering) : ch ch, karthik, ch ch, we already have this datasets

karthik : no, we don't have, its different

niksi : waaaaat ra, wat different

sir (jumping in our whispers, niksi, karthik shocked) : its different, its different, maggi hot and sweet, its different..

niksi, karthik : ooooooooooooo my god, ye kya ho gaya sir ko, anyways, he is in a happy mood good for us....

(anyways, and the meeting goes on, first with karthik then with niksi, all serious study stuff with sir sighing about his

work pressure in between)

1.10 PM (after lunch time, time when orkut changes the fortune) :

*************** orkut, sparkle, songs, chatting :) :) :) :) (tilt, tilt !!!)

niksi (remembering something) : be yaar, i forgot arpit completely maaaan. i have to go meet him today..

arun : wat re..

niksi : where is SBI ICM

arun : pension office se sidha jaane ka, chalte jaa chalte jaa. Furniture waala dikhta.. udhar hi hai..

niksi : okie dokie

(now plan A changed to plan B, early runaway from office to meeting arpit to home daddy.. ye ye ye)

5.30 PM (time to execute plan B) :

Everyday niksi goes back two stops, so that he can catch a empty bus and can reach home seating..

today he had to get down in between, so he decides to catch bus from office itself (baaaad plan, very baaad plan)

Reasons : 1) he will not have to stand for a looooooong time as he is getting down in middle for meeting arpit

2) he will save time

3) he will save money

5.45 PM (NMDC bus stop) :

niksi, as usual sifting through the crowd, in search of don’t know wat…

suddenly he sees an empty 49 M…

but 1) its fast, driver is in no mood to stop completely

2) there is already a bus on the bus stop, giving cover fire to niksi’s empty 49 M

Pressure situation, so small time, so many decisions, niksi gets ready.. thinks quickly

1) if he misses the bus, next bus will come late and will be full with no place to seat, hardly any place to stand

2) the bus is slowing down, he can try to catch it.. seeing him running for the bus, driver may stop it…

And here he decides, decision of the day.. to board a moving bus…

niksi : common baby, you can do it.. you can catch it…

(this word from inside gives confidence to him, he runs like a king warrior towards the bus)

driver (seeing niksi coming, still not stopping.. damn it.. I hate bus drivers )

niksi : its slow only, if I can catch the window, I can give a jerk to my body and I will be into the bus… its all a game of 2 seconds

driver : I AM NOT STOPPING, DO WATEVER YOU WANNA DO..

niksi : ok fine, I am getting in.. that’s it..

driver (through rear view mirror) : go on, common, board is all yours, move your move..

niksi catches the window fine, but forgets that he has to catch window on the left side of the door, but he catches the window on the right side of the door.. and here starts the game….

niksi gives a jerk to his body to get in, but stumbles, since his feet could not get hold of the door floor… down goes niksi… his hands (not knowing wat happened) are still holding the door…. niksi gets dragged for a second…

driver (already declared winner) : kyon bey sale, ho gaya, nikal gayi saari hekdi…

crowd’s eyes (having fun of tamasha) : kyon bey sale, ho gaya, nikal gayi saari hekdi…

niksi (with life fast forwarding before his eyes) : abbey sale, wo sab baad me, pehle brake maar mere baap, pleaaaaaaaaaaaaase

driver : thik hai thik hai, tu bhi kya yaad rakhega saale… hyderabadi driver..

niksi’s hand by that time knows of the situation and lets off the door…

5.48.20 PM :

NIKSI FALLS DOWN… crowd is all laughing… while falling (hai re, gaya aaj to, meri bikes, mera ghar, meri padhai, meri degree… muh twin.. ooooooooooh my goooooooood)…

5.48.25 PM :

niksi is on the road… the guy who was a king seconds before, now is on the road… he bhagwaan, kya hai teri maaya, waah, aukaat, price, kimat sab samajh me aa gayi….

niksi (gaining his senses, starts his defense)… signals to all body parts.. how are you guys

left leg : I am fine niksi

right leg : mummmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyy, bruises

left hand : I am fine niksi

right hand : uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, mummmmmmmmmy, mummy

(niksi conclude, he fell on his right side)

head : I am working niksi.. (phewwwwwwwwwwwwww, bach gaya bach gaya, I am whole, I am whole, nothing missing.. ye ye ye)….

Gets up, runs to the side shop, tries to buy water bottle, but bottle is not chilled, goes for paani pouch….

Some aunty (she was so sweet, thank you for the concern aunty… luv yaaa) : beta.. sit for 2 min..

niksi (shivering like fallen leaf) : no aunty, am fine.. to shopkeeper girl, waater…

girl gives a pouch.. he pours all of it on the right hand wound.. again buys one more pouch..

sweet aunty (thinking niksi is some poor boy), tries to buy him a bisleri bottle..

niksi : aunty (so sweet of her).. its ok aunty.. I do not need bottle…

suddenly a setwin 49 M comes (niksi never sits in a setwin, but he has to run away, he is being noticed by the crowd.. he is feeling somewhat somewhat)… so he gets into the setwin and does pheeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, wat moments maaaaan…..

And niksi learns

A time came in his life when finally niksi got it. When in the midst of all his fears and insanity he stopped dead in his tracks and somewhere the voice inside his head cried out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.

And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, his sobs begun to subside, he shuddered once or twice, he blinked back his tears and through a mantle of wet lashes he begun to look at the world through new eyes.

This was his awakening. He realized that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. He came to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and that in the real world there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with him and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

He awakened to the fact that he is not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what he is... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.)

he learned that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for him and that it's not always about him.

And he begun to sift through all the crap he've been fed about how he should behave; how he should look and how much he should weigh; what he should wear and where he should shop; and what he should drive how and where he should live; and what he should do for a living; or what he owe to his parents.

he learned that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and he stopped maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for his next fix.

he learned that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which he must build a life. he learned that he don't know everything, it's not his job to save the world and that he can't teach a dog to sing.

he learned to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

he learned that the only cross to bear is the one he choose to carry. Then he learned about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. he learned not to project his needs or his feelings onto a relationship. he learned that he will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of someone with him.

he learned to look at relationships as they really are and not as he would have them be. he stopped trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

he learned that just as people grow and change so it is with love...and he learned that he don't have the right to demand love on his terms...just to make him happy.

And, he learned that alone does not mean lonely. And he looked in the mirror and came to terms with the fact that he will never be a perfect and he stopped trying to compete with the image inside his head and agonizing over how he "stack up."

he came to the realization that he deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and he won't settle for less. And, he will allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes him to glorify him with its touch...and in the process he will internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And he learned that his body really is his temple. And he begun to care for it and treat it with respect. he begun eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise.

he learned that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So now he takes more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So he takes more time to laugh and to play.

he learned that for the most part, in life he will get what he believed he deserves ... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

he learned that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.’

More importantly, he learned that in order to achieve success he needs direction, discipline and perseverance. he also learned that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

he learned to fight for his life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. he learned that life isn't always fair, he don't always get what he thinks he deserves and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people.

On these occasions he learned not to personalize things. he learned that God isn't punishing him or failing to answer his prayers.

It's just life happening. And he learned to deal with evil in its most primal state-the ego.
he learned that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of him and poison the universe that surrounds him. he learned to admit when he is wrong and to building bridges instead of walls.

he learned to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, he begun to take responsibilities for himself by himself and to make himself a promise to never betray himself and to never ever settle for less than his heart's desire.

And he made it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in his heart and with God by his side he took a stand, he took a deep breath and he begun to design the life he wanted to live as best as he can and decided never to fall in love.

so, niksi learns.

Saidullus jalsa theorem

To Prove : The foot is above the head. (See figure)

Proof :

Corollary 1 : The given statement is quoted by Saidullu.
Any statement quoted by Saidullu is true irrespective of the logic.
Hence given statement is true.

Corollary 2 : If we draw a line from head to foot, and another straight line from head towards leg(See figure).
We find a angle between the two lines.
We conclude that boot is above the head.

i.e. in Saidullu's word, "if we draw a line from head to boot, the foot is above the head".
Hence given statement is true.

Conclusion : Hence proved.

galli puraan - 1

"Kandi",with a small wooden sword in his hand, was jumping from top of the tree to balcony of our house, from there to the
garden in the front and again from there back to the top of the tree - behaving like a mad baboon.

Ye dekh ke mera to bheja fir gaya . We call kandi "Nutloose Maharaj". Nutloose means, all the nuts and bolts of the head falling
loose, and in such a way that no screwdriver, player in the vast world can repair. In a way I am also nutloose. But of all in
"the gang", the best nutloose is our "Sat". If we do good work in our country we get Padmashree, if we do better work
we get, Padmabhusan, and if our work is best - out of this world, we get Bharat Ratna.

Padma bole to kamal. Hamari galli ke piche, there is a biiiig pond full of lotuses. Pond ko lagke, there exists the farm of our
"Pandeyji". Pandeyji owns a group of buffaloes. Kya bhainsa hai baap. Like the spectators grouped together to watch galli
cricket, these buffaloes will group together in muddy pond taking sunbath the whole day. Hasinao ki maafik. There are around
10 - 12 buffaloes. But saari ki saari bina kaam ki. All of them together gives around half a litre of milk a day. Ya but what attitude
and personality these buffalos are having baap. tooooo much. Every dusk they will cause a traffic jaam taking there evening walk.
We have a gentleman called "Mishra ji" in our galli. He will neither work inside the house nor outside it. Earlier he used to buy lots of
newspaper. From morning till dawn he will read and reread these papers and will keep itching his head, whispering and talking
to himself.

Mishraji - "Don't know what will happen to this country. Saala sab taraf darkness hi darkness. Gandhiji to "swatantrata" de ke
nikal liye. Nehru also went off giving "panchsheel". Main akela aadmi. What can i do? Country is looking cursed. No peace, no
happiness, no rest. Aaaaargh. Leaders corrupt, officers corrupt, police corrupt. There were only 40 thieves at the time of ali
baba. Ab to saala apni galli me ich chalis chora rete. Don't know whats going to happen to this country. Its going to get ruined."

Speaking in the above fashion he was walking slowly. Along with him was our "pappu paper" (he is our newspaper vendor).

Pappu paper (looking worried) - "Saab, don't know whether our country is going to be ruined or not, but if you will not pay the bills
of my newspapers, i am surely going to get ruined. Saab please, pay the bills. "

Mishraji (stopped, looked besides, took the topi above the head, itched quietly, kept his hand on the shoulders of pappu) - "Arre
yaara, you don't worry bout the bill. Apan jindagi me kya leke aaye, and what are we going to take back ? sab maaya hai dost,
sab maaya hai.. are you getting me pappu??"

Pappu understood and ran away... Mishraji nahi sudhare, but then same goes with our country, leaders.. wo bhi to nahi sudhare...
One day mishraji caught niksi.. means me..

Mishraji - "Wat re nik, full day no work, just roaming here and there like pandey ji's buffaloes.. do some work beta... be something.." he
started his age old lecture...

I tried my best to run away.. but his grip was too strong this time... My mind went Nutloose... I started back.. "leave me, just leave me"
I do not keep reading newspapers like you.. I have to go for work.. but he came with a firm decision today..
"What re.. what will happen if I will keep giving lectures.. I have to practice myself what I am saying.. or else everything is
equivalent to crap.. if there aren't any bullets in the gun.. than khali dhai dhai karne se kya hota.. will anyone die from that.. "

Oooo my god.. i was half dead by this time.. somehow i snatched myself away from his grip.. and saala galli tak bina ruke bhaaga...
nonstop running.. I used to run with barking dogs behind me when was a kid.. wo same practice abhi kaam aata kabhi kabhi..

"The gang" was discussing something in galli...
First one said "I always wanted to be a bus driver.. mast ghumte rehna.. upar se logo ko pareshaan karna... kriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiich.. like that
you suddenly push the brake.. piche ki seat wala like an arrow.. kaisa sataaak ke saamne conductor ke paas aata... superb career.."

Other said "No no, there is fear of road accidents in that career.. we have to die getting stucked between seat and steering wheel.. I like
becoming a conductor.. ticket ticket bolke ghumte rena.. change nako bolke ticket ke piche likh ke dena... That person departs
in hurry and paise apan ke... ho ho.. wo paise daan kar dena.. lots of good work man.. "

third said "I will become a leader, cutting ribbons somewhere, giving speeches.. no worries about eating... once if you win.. no
problems for the next five years.. "
While the discussion was going.. kandi kept jumping from tree to tin box, tin box to bushes and then back to the tree with his
wooden sword..
My aunt started shouting from inside "Arre, what happened to this kandi.. today morning in the temple, the monkeys snatched
prasad from his hand.. since then he is behaving like this.. kahi bandara kaat ke paagal to nahi bana diye bechare ku.. I think he
will have to be given fourteen biiiig injections.. "

Kandi stopped and shouted back.. "Arre O, waste fella.. i am not mad.. this is "Gorilla Warfare".. you will not understand..
before 378 years shivaji maharaj used to tease aurangjeb like this only.. by the time he blinked his eyes sab ke sab idhar udhar
jaane kidhar gaayab ho jaate.. if we want to do something for society, country.. we should build our health re.. we must
practice things like this, if we learn such "movements" to fatafat "escape" ho sakte.. "

At the very instant.. mishraji called from back --- "Arre.. you people are here?? ", Me, kandi and rest of the gang.. escaped just
like shivaji in a moment using "Gorilla warfare" "movements".. He caught my aunt and started his lectures...

Sajjan se Sajjan mile to prem se kije baat,
gaddhe se gaddha mile to ghusa ya fir laat..

Next morning my aunt was sitting with her hand on her head... "Kya re tumloga.. aise kaise bhaag gaye mereku chod ke.., you
people must teach me this gorilla, chimpanjee, monkey, baboon, watever warfare.. i also need it... "

We all need to learn gorilla warfare, some or the other time.. Kya bolte Saab...

Why me ??

"Why me ?? ", niksi asks god in the night...
"Why me?? ", God repeated with a smile. "The question asked by the soldier as the enemy bullets whistle around him, by the harmless homeowner as the homicidal maniac steps through the kitchen door hunting knife in hand, by the woman who has given birth to a dead baby, by the prophet who has just had a revelation of the word of god, by the artist who knows his latest painting is a work of genius. Why you ? Because you are there, dumbo. Because something has to happen to you. OK ?

niksi says OK and slips into sleep...

cricket part 2

so.. all the three of us were running and got out of the sight of ticket checker..
next problem was, we were hungry... and it was still half an hour to the show.....

pavan : lets eat raa !!
niksi : lets go back there!! ( pavan and niksi were in a canteen an hour before)
pavan : gundu gadu.. its far away...
niksi : kya far away.. yahan se patthar fekte to us canteen pe girta.... ooooops.. i mean if we throw a stone from here it will drop on that canteen... (no hindi with pavan )
saidullu maama : no.. no ra.. lets eat panipoori...
niksi, pavan : okie

and frnds.. only if we call it pani poori... pathetic.. i ate one and was like.. am over..
we bought a mango.. infact three ripe mangoes... and pushed it into muh bag.. and ran back as the line inside the stadium was growing fast...

stood in the line.. but again thought... ufffffffffffffffffff... because.. they were searching guys like anything.. and all guthkas, cigarettes and stuff like dat went out in a crapbox...

we were seeing each others faces... there will lie the deadbody of our dear mango after a while... but geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.... god was wid us.. seeing our poor faces... the good security uncle allowed the mango inside the stadium...

and wat a show it was... such a biiiiig crowd... gals dancing... flags of india and pakistan, loud music.... we also took flags and banners of 4's and 6's.. we divided the teams among us... they both chose kolkata tigers and i took lahore baadshahs...

but after sometime (after we finished the mangoes, and stopped seeing the dancing dolls ) all was boring.... i mean it was too loud for me... i particularly didn't like it because

1) it was all artificial
-> people with biiiiiiig flags of the two countries were not patriotic or fans... they were labourers paid by the organisers of the show... (so bad), same story with shouting drummers...
-> i could see wolves everywhere around me... hungry for gals.. the way they where passing rubbish comments and all that shit.....
-> i saw a small gal selling chikki (peanut sweet) inside the stadium so that she can earn enough for her family... (india is still poor, such small sweet gal is supposed to work)
2) i do not like crowds...
3) we were not able to enjoy the cricket.. i mean the players where so small from the place where we sat.. all looked same.. ball was hardly visible... no score board... and above all no replays.... kaun kaise out hua saala pata hi nahi chala.... and ya above all ground was looking all empty.. i mean it looks awesomely full of players on tv.. here it was nothing like that...

so somehow dragged ourselves till half of the match.. in between some small adventures.. like saidullu's search for toilets... pavan's search for a better place from which we can see * cricket * gals * scoreboard * television screen..... but having everything is not possible.. he came back to the original place after having a good round of the stadium....

after first innings we lost our patience to carry on... saidullu was still interested (saale me jaan baaki tha).... he decided to sit back.. pavan and myself decided the other way round.. went out.. caught the buses to our respective homes.. and slept over a tired day.....

conclusion was CRICKET IS FAR BETTER ON TELEVISION DEN IN A STADIUM FOR US...

cricket part 1

one cool evening in idrbt i was sitting doing nothing and brain (!) storming about wat i will do after going home.... my options were

1) sit in the library waiting for.. he he (but my luck here is not so good.. kabhi kabhar chal jaata)

2) play sparkle.... (not good.. pura din wahi to kiya.. fir se kya khelna)

3) read a book... (not having any good book on hand right now worth reading)

4) see tv (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak)

5) go to gym.. (ye ye.. ya this is a good option, i will rethink)

6).........

the door opens, bhadang....... and the knight enters.. i was seeing something fishy.. so got shocked.. turned around and there was pavan.. the greaaaaaaaaaat pavan.. only guy regularly sending emails........ (mginger, cut your mobile bill by 200, pass it on and save the girl, forward to 10 people in 1 minute to get good luck for 7 consecutive years (toooooooo much.. how is it possible maaaan!!!))

anyways... he is sincere in sending mails, so i like him....

ya so thing is, pavan was in my room.. its rare.. why?? because he generally comes with a new game or when we are having a meeting kind of thing.... rest of the time he is in his chair playing his game....

so i was like why he is here....

pavan : nik

niksi: ya

pavan : cricket chuddama ra!!

niksi:....................

pavan : oops, i mean is you interested in coming for watching cricket...

niksi : where ???

pavan : lb stadium raa, icl 20 20 tournament...

niksi : how?

pavan : i have pass (free)

niksi : how ??

pavan : bharatstudent.com

niksi : but, one pass, one ticket, saidullu told me.... u have ur ticket.. how can i come...

pavan : you just come re.. i have both... i promise today i will show you match (baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, i am touched )

niksi : ok, chalo...

pavan : ya came..

den we went out, sat in hmmmmmmmmmmmmm 5k i think... i was on phone.. so i told him to take purse from my pocket and buy the ticket... and here starts the murphy law.. (i hate him, kitta time waste karta hai sab ka)... by the way for those who are unaware of murphy bhai.. here are three great versions of his law...

1) when there are 50 50 chances of something going right or wrong, there is 90 % probability that it will fall wrong

2) when you are searching for a particular thing from a stack of similar such things, the thing you are searching will be the last one...

3) tomorrow is always worse than today...

so here goes pavan applying law number two..

he inserts his hand on my back right pocket.. nothing.. back left pocket... nothing.... front right pocket nothing..

pavan : nik

niksi : on phone.. raised eyebrows.. kya hai bey...

pavan : where is money ?

conductor : (shouting) ticket cheppu !!

pavan :niiiiiiiiiikkkk

conductor:tickeeeeeeeeeeet....

niksi : abids

pavan : money

niksi : bag me hai re... ya ya (on phone)

pavan : where...

niksi : angry a bit.. takes the complex problem in his own worthy hands... takes the purse out of the bag.. gives money to conductor with grin aaaaarggggggggh.. pushes ticket back in bag.. gives a nasty glance to pavan.. and goes back to phone...

we get down at abids... searching for LB stadium... and someone by the name Saidullu.... we found none for other 15 minutes... than EUREKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa.. there is the biiiiiiiiig stadium.. with the happiness felt by columbus in finding india (which was actually america, poor dude)... we entered the stadium gate... and there was the ticket counter....

pavan took out the print outs we were supposed to show before having our free ticket.... i took a look and here goes my head off...

niksi : kya hai ye

pavan :printouts ra...

niksi : aaaaaaaaaaaaargh

to cut the long story sort... he was having only one pass.. the other one was just a silly advertisement..... baaah.. now only one of us can go in... i already started looking for options, how to reach home from that place....

pavan recalled all the BIIG words he told me before coming.. and he went emotionally down...

nik... you go ra.... i will see it some other day.. i told you i will show you match.. so you go in.. i will go...

i was like.. kya hai ye.. why he is so sentimental.... i do not like crowd anyway... just came as he asked with love in his eyes... i did not wanted to break his poor heart.. (he he...)

nahi pavan.. you go beta.. i will go home.. you see and search saidullu... i will see you people on tv....

and while we were forcing each other giving QURBANI... saidullu came running...

saidullu : (shouting as if we are missing titanic ).... tondargaa ra.. ticket tisco ra.. quick ra... pavan quickly ran with a ORIGINAL PRINTOUT AND ONE FAKE PRINTOUT....

god save him (i said).. abhi security usko bahar fekti... i was already in the olympic pose of running as soon as he was caught....

but it was pavan kada... with that biiiiiiiiig eyes, innocent face, biiiiiiiiiiig smile... ticket guy got fooled sooner den i thought.. seeing pavan, he forgot to check the printouts.. just counted two.. and gave two passes... and next moment we three were running out in the crowd so as to stop any possibility of him catching us for forgery..... (in case he has a better look on printouts)........

!!!!

And finally i asked "why?"

"Ah why. you want the whole story?

All right, i'll tell you." he settled back.

"No big deal here. I was in love and now i am not.

She doesn't pay attention and i don't know where she is and, "His voice rose slightly, "I don't care where she is. She walked out of life one night and now am trying to put myself through college so i will be self sufficient before i take the next step. That's all about it i guess."

I thought that the most heart breaking parts were the things he hadn't said......