Poem by an african kid to white world !!

When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in Sun, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black

And you white fellow
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you gray

And you calling me 'COLORED'

Be +ve, It's ridiculous to c it as END 4 Everythng!!

A

“I used to cry,
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me,
somebody new.
I’m not that chained up little person
still in love with you.”

B

“Cos I’m strong enough
To live without you.
Strong enough and I quit crying,
Long enough now I’m strong enough,
To know you gotta go.”

C

“Think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared.
Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin’ for.
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.”

D

“It’s time for me to fly.
Oh, I’ve got to set myself free.
Time for me to fly,
And that’s just how it’s got to be.
I know it hurts to say goodbye,
But it’s time for me to fly.”

E

“When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on.
Don’t let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.”

F

“Stay right with it, when the road unwinds,
I can handle whatever I stumble upon,
I don’t even notice she’s gone,
Most of the time.”

G

“If you ever think about me,
Just know that I’ll be alright
I’m gonna be strong,
I’m gonna do fine,
Don’t worry about this heart of mine.
I know I’ll survive
Sure I’ll make it through.”

H

“I don’t wanna’ spend my life jaded,
Waiting to wake up one day and find,
That I’ve let all these years go by,
Wasted.”

I

“You told me you loved me,
Why did you leave me, all alone?
Now you tell me you need me,
When you call me, on the phone.
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused,
With some other guy.
Your bridges were burned, and now it’s your turn,
To cry, cry me a river.”

J

“The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky,
Are also on the faces of people going by.
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do.

They’re really saying I love you.”


Live For Life

Balakrishna the great

# Balakrishna doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Balakrishna has allowed to live.

# Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Balakrishna.

# Balakrishna does not sleep. He waits.

# Balakrishna counted to infinity - twice.

# When Balakrishna does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

# Balakrishna is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

# Balakrishna can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

# Balakrishna doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

# Balakrishna can slam a revolving door.

# Balakrishna does not get frostbite. Balakrishna bites frost

# If you have five dollars and Balakrishna has five dollars, Balakrishna has more money than you.

# There is no 'ctrl' button on Balakrishna's computer. Balakrishna is always in control.

# Balakrishna can sneeze with his eyes open.

# Balakrishna destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

# Balakrishna can kill two stones with one bird.

# There are no races, only countries of people Balakrishna has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

# When Balakrishna falls in water, Balakrishna doesn't get wet. Water gets Balakrishna.

# Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Balakrishna Roundhouse Kick)

# Balakrishna’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

# Balakrishna doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

# Balakrishna can divide by zero.

# Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Balakrishna roundhouse kick.

# When Balakrishna talks, everybody listens. And dies.

# For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Balakrishna, each testicle is larger than the other one.

# When taking the SAT, write "Balakrishna" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

# Balakrishna invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Srikanth invented pink.

# When you're Balakrishna, anything + anything is equal to 1.

# Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Balakrishna"

# If you Google search "Balakrishna getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

# Balakrishna can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.

# It takes Balakrishna 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes

# Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Balakrishna pajamas.

# Simply by pulling on both ends, Balakrishna can stretch diamonds back into coal.

# When Balakrishna does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

# There is in fact an “I” in Balakrishna, but there is no “team”… not even close.

# Balakrishna can slam a revolving door.

# Balakrishna is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Balakrishna does not swim. This is because when Balakrishna enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Balakrishna simply walks across the pool floor.

# Balakrishna proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

research life

research life. (courtesy : bhondoo)

After the meeting with advisor:
Debugging your own code:
Attending a lecture:
Attending a talk suggested by your advisor:
Experiment succeeds:
Advisor on leave:
Semester ends:
Paper accepted:
Experiment fails:
Why did I choose this advisor?:
Before exam:
Failure in comprehensive exam:
Paper rejected:
Advisor praises:
Everyone else goes for a trek and you have to stay back:
7th year of PhD:
Review comments on the final report asking you to rewrite 3 chapters and add 2 new:

Listen...

When I ask you to listen to me
And you start giving me advice,
Or jump to a conclusion,
You have not done what I asked.
You are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me
And you feel you have to do something
To solve my problem,
Strange as that may seem,
But that's not what I asked for.
Listen! all I ask is that you listen.
Don't talk or do - just hear me.

Satti and the Dog

Once upon a time in a small room of a vast city bangalore, there lived two fellows : satti and niksi. Both used to be so so intelligent because of the following reasons:
1) both were master of technology (biiiig deal)
2) both were in IBM (d biiiiiiiiiiiig blue)
3) best of all, both were boys (boys are "d" best)

So, i am going to describe one small incident which happened to them last night.
satti and niksi will go to andhra mess to have their supper every night. For satti (who is an andhra guy) its a feast, for niksi (who is not a south indian) its a way to fight hunger. So crux of the matter is they have to cross a loooooooooooong lane from their small room to reach the biiiiig outer ring road, crossing which they reach their destination.

This happened while they were crossing this lane. The time was after dusk around 7.30. The very instant, satti and niksi entered the lane, don't know from where a huuge (kind of) doggy came. He started moving along with satti and niksi. Both thought that doggy's pace is similar to their's and thats the reason he is moving along. And when time will come, he will move on to his path. But doggy had different things on his mind.

Thing is that, our satti is kind of slow, plummy, golu polu, cute. So any good doggy just by looking to satti will fall in love with him. Similar thing happens to our doggy here. He saw satti, he fell in love with him. And for this eternal love, he was moving along with a firm determination that whatever may come, he will never leave satti.

It was a scene worth imagining. Two people and a dog. Going. Going. Going. With different things in mind.

But after a minute or two, satti felt that doggy is coming with him only.

Satti: Doggy
Doggy: Satti
Satti: Eh
Doggy: What
Satti: Go
Doggy: No
Satti: Why
Doggy: I love you
Satti: (No words, just a shocked face)

Actually he was taken aback. No body said "I love you" to him ever with so much love in the eyes. But still, he thought firmly to get rid of the dog. He was thinking foul of the dog. But see his face, and you will not see a sign of any thing negative. It was all filled with love, love and nothing else. This is where the dog failed. He saw satti and he saw love and he thought love and he got over confident.

He took satti for granted. He thought satti will never leave him. And he started moving fast and ahead of satti and niksi, leading the way for his master and clearing the path of other not so important kids, people and doggies.

Satti catches niksi's hand and stops. Niksi with a blank look, What?
Satti: Wait
Niksi: for what
Satti: that doggy
niksi: which, what doggy
satti: that doggy you fool, where is your mind. that doggy is following us.
niksi: oh my god, is it, i never thought. now what
satti: just wait, i have a working plan.

Coming to the climax. What happens is a man, with build similar to satti passes satti and niksi and gradually reaches to the dog. Dog is too busy clearing the path for his master to see this switch. He starts moving along with that man thinking him as satti (his beloved).

Satti takes advantage of this moment and switches the lane using a cross lane in between. CRUEL CRUEL SATTI. Noooooooooooo feelings for the poor dog. No second thoughts. Niksi hates satti.

Finally, they come to the great outer ring road. And while crossing niksi gives a stare behind. And what he looks at is heart breaking. At the edge of the lane he sees a dog, wretched, tired, heart ached, poor.. with tears in eyes... looking with a look of "WHY ME?" towards satti. He never in his dreams thought that satti will leave him like this...

But thats how life is... you can not expect love from everyone you love.....

Niksi feels, only if that dog would had loved him instead of satti, things would had been different...

Ah... falling in love... gravitation is not responsible..

Art by Nicholas Boucher

shiva, bpkumar and saidullu watches mumbai vs. hyderabad PART 1

20 to 30 odd studious students (???) from university and idrbt, decides to go for next ipl match between mumbai indians and deccan chargers (sachin's effect) at uppal stadium.

they all decide to meet directly inside the stadium once the match starts. (the thought is the result of the confidence they all gained by having mobile phones.) Niksi means to say that all thought that once inside the stadium, they will call each other and will be together to enjoy the spree. (clear hai na bey ??)

1st Jhatka : MOBILES ARE NOT ALLOWED INSIDE THE STADIUM (COURTESY TV9). THOSE CAUGHT ALIVE WITH DEAD OR ALIVE MOBILES INSIDE THEIR POCKET (OR OTHER BODY PARTS OF THEIR CLOTHES) WILL BE THROWN DEAD OUT OF THE STADIUM.

To saare bhai milne se pehle hi bichad gaye.

So instead of whole dataset together, some feature selection was done, and the group got divided into several clusters.

Our focus is on one such cluster which comprises of the following cluster points :

cluster center : saidullu alli yadav
point 1 : bpkumar
point 2 : mamudri siva kumar (important point)
point 3 : an outlier point trying to get into the cluster (we will name it mr. outlier)
point 4 : cluster member, who is siva's brother.. but he went out somewhere in the plane. (missing i mean)

ok. at present moment, cluster points are trying to contact each other from places unknown to us, with points having the luxury of mobile phones. (clusters not yet formed)

Saidullu (cluster center) gets call from siva : Hello saidullu, mobiles are allowed inside the stadium, so we will bring our mobiles. Primary reason to have mobile is we can track each other outside stadium. (NIKSI SECRET 1 : Secondary reason which siva meant but could not tell - We can talk to girlfriends incase the match goes boring)

Saidullu : Normoi bey.. i do not want to take heavy risk.. so i will not bring my mobile.

Siva : I and praveen are together. We both are bringing mobiles. Not bringing mobile is a risk. Because there will be a large crowd. So bring your mobile anna. (NIKSI SECRET 2 : actual intention of siva loving saidullu so much and forcing him to bring mobile was, saidullu owned the entry tickets. he he. So if no saidullu, means no tickets, means no entry, means no match. samjha na ??)

Saidullu : Siva waste fella, i am telling you, if i bring my mobile and they do not allow it inside, its all your responsibility.

Siva : (as always) ok anna, main hu na. you come. (marr gaya siva)

So now our points are outside the stadium (mind it!! still not together)

Now you will have to use your imagination. Just think out the situation i am describing below.

We are flying above the crowd. So we can see all the points. Shiva is at point A, Saidullu is at point B (not even 5 feet away from point A), Bpkumar is at point C (again not even 5 feet from points A and B). Points A, B, C form a small triangle. Points are not able to see each other.

Point A ie. siva calls point B ie. saidullu.
Siva : where are you re. cheppu re.
Saidullu : i am just outside the entrance gate re. where are you. come fast. (saidullu missing cheer leaders already).
Siva : Anna, i am also outside the entrance gate. You tell "exactly" where outside the gate.
Saidullu : i am exactly opposite to the gate re. You raise your hand.
Siva raises his hand. but both are back to back. So neither siva nor saidullu can see the other waste fella.
Saidullu : Wat re.. raise hand re.
Siva : raised. Cant you see me (waving the hands). Ok you also raise hand.
Saidullu also raises hand. Both are waving hands to nowhere. God knows to whom.

At very instant point C (Bpkumar) sees both of them standing back to back waving to the crowd and wonders what they are doing.
He comes and slaps both of them from behind. Both turns together towards each other. And the famous film scene of missing brothers meeting in crowd after ages of separation. But here the emotions are little different. Instead of hugging and kissing each other, they both started using language we cannot mention here.

Point is, our basic cluster is formed. (basic because point 4, (siva's bhai) still missing).
Our cluster with firm determination of not separating again in lifetime starts moving towards the entrance.

2nd Jhatka (specially for saidullu anna) : Cluster points see large (LARGE) banners showing sexy photos of mobiles, water bags, food bags, etc, etc, but with biiiiiiiiiiiiiig reeeeeeeeeeeeed crooooooooooooos on it. Niksi means to convey that cluster came to know that mobiles are strictly not allowed inside the stadium.

Our cluster is from idrbt. So born brave. So they decide to take risk of hiding mobiles and trying to get inside. And what luck they were having. There are three checkpoints before you are inside the stadium. And our cluster with impenetrable skills penetrates two checkpoints successfully with their mobiles still with them.

But as dr. murphy said, when there are equal chances of things going right and wrong, there are very high chances that thing will go wrong.

Bpkumar successfully penetrates the third checkpoint. ye ye ye. hip hip hurray.
Siva successfully penetrates the third checkpoint. ye ye ye ye. hip hip hip hurray.
Saidullu tries and gets caught. paaaaaaaaaaaaaapam.

Saidullu : (to siva and bpkumar) how come re. how come re.
Praveen : I did not bring my mobile re. I have kept it in bike tool box re. (bpkumar is smiling at saidullu. Saidullu is glaring with red eyes, first towards bpkumar and than towards siva)
Siva : Sorry anna. sorry sorry cheptunanu.
Saidullu : Now you asked me to bring mobile. So now you go and keep our mobile in pravin's bike. (The point worth noting here is, pravin's bike is approximately 2 kms away from stadium entrance)

Siva (puts condition with an emotion of request) : ok anna, i will go. but you too come na re.
Saidullu : No re. I told na. means your responsibility. (TO SEE THE POWER IN SAIDULLU'S STATEMENTS, READERS ARE REQUESTED TO READ SAIDULLU'S JALSA THEOREM POSTED BEFORE)

Siva (helpless cow now, gets ready to get slaughtered), is having three problems now

problem A : To go till parking and put the mobiles and come back
problem B : Point 4 of the cluster (ie. his brother) is still missing. The last call he got from point 4 one hour ago was he is in secundrabad and will reach uppal in 10 minutes.
Problem C : He is only having Rs. 20 in his pockets. Might not be enough to go by some vehicle (bus, auto) and come back.

Siva is thinking about a optimal solution and finally makes a move.
He decides to focus on problem A. He catches an RTC bus thinking the ticket will cost only Rs. 2. Luckily the tc does not ask for a ticket at all. Ye Ye Ye.

He gets down -

3rd Jhatka : He enters the parking lot and suddenly gets a wonderful thought. "I dont know bpkumar's bike number, where will i keep the mobiles".

Just think. Bpkumar is not having mobile. Saidullu's mobile is with siva. Siva's mobile is with siva. Bpkumar's bike key is with Siva. And Siva is 2 kms away from cluster center, standing alone among some 6ooo bikes.

Only alternative he finds is to start trying on bikes which he thinks looks like bpkumar's bike. He puts the keys inside the first bike and EUREKA.. it opened. ye ye ye.. (so many ye's)

He puts the mobiles into the toolbox of the bike. And starts back with a strange emotion that something is fishy here. Something is wrong. Seeing the amount of luck he owes and his past experiences bounds him to come to the conclusion that the probability of hitting the right bike in first attempt is zero. So he walks back to bikes and looks for some help around. He finds a guy and gets a pen from him. He notes down the number of bike inside which he kept the precious mobiles (kitte ladkiyon ke number hote pata kya.. they are precious ofcourse, niksi ka mobile bhi precious hota). This is the only help he got from that guy.

He starts back towards the stadium.

He clears all the gates and is inside the stadium.
50000 people inside the stadium. Wonderful environment.

Niksi will end part 1 here with a review of siva's problems :

problem A : To go till parking and put the mobiles and come back - Solved (??)
problem B : Point 4 of the cluster (ie. his brother) is still missing. The last call he got from point 4 one hour ago was he is in secundrabad and will reach uppal in 10 minutes. - Still Missing
Problem C : He is only having Rs. 20 in his pockets. Might not be enough to go by some vehicle (bus, auto) and come back. - Doesn't matter much if he finds back his cluster.
Problem D : (Major problem) How to find the cluster ??????

Ants, Grasshoppers and India

An old story:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the
summer away.

Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

Indian Version of the same story:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the
summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter .

Mayawati states this as `injustice’ done on Minorities.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance).

Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for 'Bengal Bandh' in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter.

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions and in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, it's home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it ' A Triumph of Justice'.
Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice '.
CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden '
Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later...

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley.
100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India.

As a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the grasshoppers,

India is still a developing country…!!!

Dating process . . . almost everytime true..

Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?

Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??

Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.


Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.

Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!

Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??

New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?

Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???


TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself he he he . . .